Post layoff

I have been getting the kids back up to par on the school work front. I must sadly admit I hadn't realized how behind Vincent had become. He has made some great progression in the week we have been working together, I'm very proud of him. He just gets so frustrated when he is trying to read. That's the area we are going to battle the most, he's so willing to just give up. Too bad for him his Momma is sooooooooo not going to let that happen!

Lil was struggling a bit with her math, but she's just about back up to par with her class now. She's worked really hard too, and I'm proud of her.

I have had to resist the urge to strangle their father. He was supposed to be keeping them up to snuff. I have always stressed that school comes above all else. If it comes down to it, he can go back to nights so that I can keep these kids where they should be in their educations. And I'm prepared to become the psycho bitch from hell about it too.

I start my stick welding class on Monday. It's 10 classes total...and the first four we have to take a math class as well. I wanted to cringe, here I am tutoring my children with their math and yet I have to take a refresher course. Ugh, however it won't hurt me one bit...well much anyway :)
So I'm excited to have something to do for a few weeks. And my kids will get a kick out of the fact that MOM has to take a Math class. Har har har!

Tea

Every time we get honey in our house I crave tea. I enjoy drinking tea with honey.

I am also a free sample junkie. If it's free I'm all over it.

Here is where these two things correlate. I had a bunch of tea samples, and now I'm on one of my last ones :( I may be forced to purchase some tea. I have no idea what kind to buy. There are 8 million choices and I'm a lost puppy.

Any suggestions?

So....

I wish I had some deep philosophical thing to say, I don't. I'm depressed about the lay off. I know there are others out there who have it much worse off than I do. I have loads of things to be grateful for and I am.
I know I am Much more than what I did for a living. My greatest purpose is being a Mom. It's amazing to watch them grow and become the people they are becoming. It was also nice to bloom a little myself, and develop a titch of independence as well. Teaching my daughters (and son too) that a woman can work in an industry that is male dominated. That a woman can excel at that job to, and no matter what they want to be when they become adults, as long as they enjoy what they do, it's not work.
I THRIVE on hard work, on taking a bunch of metal and making something tangible out of it. Remembering how when I first started welding I was scared to death to have to work on anything signficant, mostly doing rinky dink pieces. Then amazingly how that wasn't enough for me anymore, how I wanted to BUILD something, I didn't want to just make something a couple of feet long..or legs for conveyors anymore, but that I WANTED to make the main components. I enjoyed how the guys just treated me like one of the guys. They didn't let me do anything to bag off something that might be a little hard. How much they laughed at me when I welded myself into a 7 foot high rock box. How I threatened to kill them if they didn't get me a damned ladder!
I miss having somewhere to BE. I miss having a check with my name on it. It's hard to even think to go from what I was making to something just above minimum wage.
So I guess I'm depressed.
I still look on the bright side too. I'm starting a stick welding class and hopefully a pipe welding class after that. I'm high up on the call back list for work. Whenever that is. Everyone is healthy and doing well, except for me in a way I suppose.
I'm fortunate enough that Greg didn't get laid off and we still have insurance and income. Some of the guys I worked with don't have that and have to take whatever they can get for work. I know that, but right now I'm just bummed.
I'm just trying not to feel guilty about it.