Struggling.

That is the one word I can use to describe me right now, struggling. I have been having to test my blood sugars (which seem to be stabilizing) over the past month. I'm struggling with my weight, my father was morbidly obese and I've found myself on a slippery slope. I'm changing things in my life to help me lose some weight and keep my blood sugars at healthy levels. But I have been finding myself exhausted all the time, honestly I think it's some depression setting in. Oddly enough though, I don't know why. I have a really good life, my family is happy and healthy. Sure some things could be better, I think most people have things in their lives they wouldn't mind being better. I just want to feel GOOD again. Oddly enough I am at a loss on how to do this simple thing. I find joy on a daily basis, but I just don't feel good. I don't know, maybe I'm just nuts.

On a happier note, I am the proud parent of a cellist! Lilly has started orchestra and I couldn't be more excited. She should have her cello this Friday, and she's pretty excited to play me the song she's learned. I hope she decides to stick with it - music is such a wonderful outlet. She's enjoying school as usual and loves her teacher, she's been blessed again with a teacher who "gets" her. I cannot tell you how important that is for her.

Vincent is doing well, he's kept himself out of trouble (mostly :) ) and has found himself involved in a love affair. Before you freak out - it's with a lawn tractor. He LOVES driving and that boy can back up a trailer better than I can! I asked him his secret and he refused to tell me! He said "It's a guy thing Ma!"

Isabella is loving school, and just joined girl scouts. She's excited but we haven't heard anything yet about her troop. She had her first school portraits and I can't wait to see the pictures! She was singing me one of her songs and I love listening to her. So every night when I making supper she sings me the apple and banana song. Which I love. I'm also going along on her field trip to the pumpkin patch in about a week. She's been there before but she's pretty stoked none the less.

All in all - life is good! I'm a mess, but life is good.