Two weeks since surgery

Well I had THOUGHT I was supposed to go to the Dr on the 12th to get the surgical bandage (pic 1) removed and to see if I was getting a cast or back to Das Boot.  Went to the clinic, dealt with crappy parking, when you are on crutches you ALWAYS want to get as close to the door as possible, went to check in and was promptly told that my appt was on the 11th and that my Dr is never there on Tuesdays, but they could squeeze me in on the 13th.  So fine, set the appt and was growly because the receptionist was really snarky, like I'm supposed to KNOW he's not there on Tuesdays, whatever!  So I went home and checked ALL my paperwork from the hospital and it ALL said my appt was on the 12th...so :P to that chick behind the counter.

Onto the 13th, went to the clinic, had to park in SIBERIA thank goodness Vincent was with me to carry my backpack and the boot.  Checked in with same receptionist, and told her all my paperwork said the 12th, and sat down to wait.  The appt was at 9:15am, we got in at 10:15 - ugh.  They took off the surgical bandage and I scratched the living hell out of my leg, you have NO IDEA how maddening it is to have an itch you cannot scratch at ALL!  Dr said everything looks good so far and that stitches will dissolve.  I was really impressed with the fact that he tried to stay with the contour of my tattoo.  It makes the scar a little more jagged, but it was really cool that he made that effort.  I had even told him not to worry about it.  I'm not sure how big the scar is going to be as I still have the steri-strips on, and I'm supposed to leave them until they fall off. (pic 2)

I cannot get over how much my leg shrank, it's hard to tell in the picture (pic 3 and 4) but I really is significantly smaller than the other now.  I can flex my ankle a little right now, and the Dr. says I should but only up and down, not side to side or try rolling it at all yet.  I can feel the plate when I touch my ankle which is also odd, it just feels really solid.  The kids put magnets on it to see if they'd stick, their logic was it's METAL so the magnets SHOULD stick, they don't har har har!

It's pretty sore now and I'm getting used to the boot again, I'm glad that was what we went with, where the kids wanted to draw on a cast, I like that I can shower without a garbage bag duct taped to my leg! And it's nice because I can take the boot off every now and then when it gets really hot.

So I'm off work until at least the 5th of July which is my next appt with an x-ray, I'm just trying to not over do it, but it's hard trying to keep up with 3 kids and try to keep a house in order.  And I miss working, my coworkers, etc.  but we had a big conversion happen at work and it was apparently much hairier than anticipated, so I've missed the worst of that.  I'm not bummed that I missed it but I feel bad because I know they could have used the help.  And short term disability is OK, but it's not my regular check and so I don't see squat going into the bank like before.  But I'll make up for it when I go back and get some big overtime checks in.

That's pretty much it in a nutshell...hope life is good with you!

Post Surgery

It's late, and my leg is throbbing, so I should do an update.  I had my surgery on May 29th, they put a plate and some screws on m, y left ankle, I'm not sure exactly how many screws. 

The surgery was supposed to be at 12ish, but there was some sort of delay and so I didn't even get into surgery until after 2:30ish, but I did get a $10.00 gift card from HyVee for the inconvenience.   Then the anesthesiologist came in to discuss how I was going to "go under".  After looking at all of the options, I chose a spinal block and sedative, so I was not awake at all.  When I came to, I was feeling groggy, but ok. Everything went well with the surgery too...so yay.

They were going to let me go home that same day as long as I went to the bathroom and I could get around after the spinal block wore off.  Well the time came to go to the bathroom and wow was I wobbly, and I couldn't go even though I felt like I was going to wet my pants! *TMI I'm sure but it's part of the tale*  I got back into bed and my leg began to throb a little, then more, then more...then to the point where I wanted to saw off my own leg!  I have a high tolerance for pain and I was just in tears, I had asked for something for pain a couple of times, and was given meds, but they didn't even put a dent into the pain. 

I was really upset about the possibility of going home in that much pain as I didn't want my kids to see me in tears.  Not to mention I could barely get to the bathroom in my room by myself and the thought of  trying to get down to our bathroom  in the basement was horrifying.  So basically I was begging to spend the night in the hospital.  I called Greg in tears and asked him to come sit with me for a while, he said "I'm coming to raise some hell about this, you can't come home like this!"  Now normally I would do everything I could to NOT have Greg loose his cool with people who are just doing their jobs, but I was hurting so bad I didn't even care.  That's when I think he realized how much pain I was in too. 

By this time the nurses had changed shifts, and the new nurse I had called the Doctor and told him there was no way I could go home with the amount of pain I was in.  Then they ordered morphine through my IV, it still took 3/4 of the night but they FINALLY got my pain under control.  The Dr also changed my meds to come home with, so now I'm on a "cocktail" of Oxycodone, Tramadol, and Hydrocodone.  And if I get even a little off with taking them my leg makes me well aware of it! 

I'm home now, and able to get around well.  The kids and Greg are being really helpful and I can't thank them enough for that! 

Tomorrow I'm going to SHOWER since the surgery.  Break out the garbage bags and duct tape!  Oh happy day.  But I feel so slimy and I would like to get my hair washed.  I have the shower bench so that isn't something I have to get used to or figure out how to use.  It's a slight pain, but really not too bad and I'm just happy to be able to shower as are those who must be around me...lol!

So that's pretty much it in a nutshell...hope the days are treating you fabulous!

SPARKLY!!!!!!!

The kids helped me decorated Das Boot.   We picked out bling and stickers...we might add more later but it's a good start and it certainly improves it's look!  Enjoy!

Surgery!

May 29th I will be having the surgery for my ankle.  I have to have a plate and several pins/screws put in.  The break itself is apparently rather stable, however it pulled the joint which is why I have to have surgery.  I cannot have anything done with my knee right now, mostly due to the rehab that will be required after it's done.  Two joints at once is not a good idea.  AND oddly enough I am "too young" to qualify for an immediate replacement surgery, so hoops have to be jumped through...pun intended!  However my Dr is going to try to expedite the process since my deductible is paid.

I am a little nervous about the surgery, because.....well it's surgery and that is a major thing.  I'm worried about my recovery time and how long it will take.  I want to get back to work, but I have to be realistic as well and make sure I don't push too far too fast, but not sit on my laurels either.  Time will tell.  The surgery is generally same day and I could be discharged that same day.  I am going to push for an overnight stay, not because I love the hospital particularly, but because I have no main floor bathroom and would like at least to not have to attempt stairs that first day.  I am planning to take my laptop up to the hospital and try to get online while I'm there.

I did remember to get a temporary disabled parking pass, it's nice that it is good through August.  I shouldn't even need it for that long, but it's good that the option is there.  Even the closest spots still seem a mile away from a store entrance sometimes. 

The kids and I are going to do the shopping tomorrow so that there isn't anything we really need next week. We will not be going without a list as I know how they are in the store, so we need to have something to stick to!  I want to have stuff they can also help prepare next week as I'm going to require more help than usual. 

I didn't get any pictures today of Das Boot, but tomorrow we are going to do some decorating, so I'll be posting pictures when that is finished....I'm hoping it turns out as fabulous as I'd like it to be!

Some relief

I go to the Dr tomorrow am and I'm anxious to see what they will say.  I have made a list of questions I have and things I want to remember, getting a temp handicap pass for example, check about pain management, asking about having my knee fixed..blah blah blah.

Can't sleep again because I keep having leg spasms and then it feels like someone is attempting to rip my foot off of my leg.  But I'm comfortable right now so I figured I'd blog a bit.  I got a good picture of Das Boot and Vincent today, his friend Riley is also in the picutre.

Not all fun and games

I can't sleep because my leg is throbbing.  My arms hurt too, mostly my biceps and triceps, I'm certain this is due to using the crutches.  Eventually I should have some nice guns again.  I bought some tiger balm, that stuff stinks to high heaven, but it sure does wonders for muscle aches.  I don't think I've used it since I was a kid, I was shocked to even find it.  It costs more but again it works so well.

I'm nervous about my Thursday appt I am fairly certain they won't do anything about my knee at the same time as my ankle.  Mostly because the therapy involved to rehab both joints would be really difficult.  Not that I'm not up to a challenge, I just don't think it's even going to be an option.  And I really liked the Dr at the Foot and Ankle clinic, I don't want to not go to him.  But the other Dr does knees too, so I suppose I should just stop obsessing and wait and see.  Something I'm not good at, I like knowing what's coming.

Most of the time this whole situation seems a little surreal and I feel like I've just sprained my ankle or something, but then I try to sleep and my ankle makes me WELL aware of the fact that it's not sprained but broken.  I also don't like the idea of having a metal plate and screw on one of my joints.  And NATURALLY every person who has had a bad experience here has come out of the woodwork and found it necessary to tell me in detail their story.  I want to say "Look I'm nervous enough could you PLEASE, Shut the hell up?" not that I will.

I suppose I can try sleeping again...wish me luck!

Simple things aren't so simple now

Take showering, I have to stick my leg in a garbage bag, get the stool to sit on have everything I need RIGHT THERE.  On the up side, I really only can shave one leg, so that's half the work...lol !  My family is grateful that I've put forth the effort and showered, I knew it was time when the turkey vultures started circling the house regularly!

Driving is also a pain, the act of driving itself isn't so bad as it's my left leg that is injured and my Envoy is an automatic.  Getting to the car seems to take forever, it's really not all that far from my house to the street, but it may as well be 10 miles.  Once I get somewhere it's awful right now too, I have GOT to remember to ask for a temporary handicap permit, I have had to hobble over half a parking lot and that sucked!  I've given up my purse for now and have one of the kids backpacks, note to self....BUY BACKPACK...I will NOT go down the road of fanny packs...not now, not ever!

I'm glad school is out though so the kids can help me run errands.  We had to take Old Kitty to the vet to get out his stitches, I couldn't carry him so Lil and Vincent took that duty.  Bella kept him under control at the vet she has such a way with him.

Old Kitty is our latest edition, he adopted us he wandered into our yard one day just looking pitiful and had a horrible ear infection.  I took him to the vet and we got that taken care of, and since he has had "the big snip" as well and all vaccinations. They figure he's about 11 years old, he has a great temperament with humans but he and Carrot don't seem to care for one another, but when they are outside Carrot leaves him alone and when they are inside Old Kitty tries to avoid Carrot.  Zucchini just ducks and covers as usual...I swear he's part chicken.

So that's about all I have for today...on to the pictures...1 and 2 old kitty, 3 Das Boot after a shower, 4 Leg with out Das Boot!

Das Boot

I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time.  There have been lots of things that have happened that I do not wish to blog about as 1. they are far to complicated and 2. they are private and do not need to be on the net.

I have managed to break my ankle.  I did this when I stepped on our garden hose while wearing flip flops.  My bad knee twisted and my foot stayed in place a bit too long.  So now I will be having surgery to fix it.  So to keep myself entertained, I'll going to blog the experience.  I am calling it Das Boot because of the boot thing I have to wear right now, and it's a joke about a movie that makes me nuts but my husband LOVES called Das Boot, it's a FOUR HOUR long black and white movie about a submarine sinking...did I mention it's in GERMAN!  So the words "Das Boot" generally make me cringe...


I will be taking pictures of my boot doing everyday things and posting them here and my facebook page...mostly because I'm an odd duck like that.

I'm a bit frustrated with the whole experience right now, my left knee is the reason my left ankle is now broken.  I think it would make sense to fix them both now.  I will find out on Thursday if this is even a possibility, which it may not be just due to the logistics of it.   My theory is that if I am going to be laid up for several weeks, lets fix EVERYTHING.  Not to mention if my knee is still weak, fixing my ankle is just temporary, as my knee will give out again and we will be back at square one.  I really do not want to have any more broken bones.  But I don't get to decide.

The other thing that has irritated me is this happened on Friday, I was not able to see an orthopedic Doctor until today...MONDAY.  This is because they are not on call anymore, so unless it is a life threatening break you basically get a band aid and pain pills.  If it is life threatening, they transport you to Sioux Falls or Sioux City...both which would be expensive!  When I was calling around today to try to find a Dr to get into, the first one's receptionist tells me he's booked until Thursday, but gave me to the Rn.  I tell her that I will be calling to see if I can get into anyone today.  She then says well the Dr would schedule you for Thursday anyway because he can't do anything until the swelling goes down.   MY ASS!  The Dr I went into today took more xrays, put on a compression bandage (which has helped my comfort level immensely) and discussed my options for surgery. 

I am still keeping my appt with Dr #1 only because he can look at my knee too, where Dr #2 is only foot/ankle Dr.  But if I can't have anything else done with my knee at this time, I'm sticking with Dr. #2 because he actually seemed to give a damn.

So that is all I have to say for now...and here's the pic of the day!  Das Boot catching some rays!

Week 2 well 3 really ha ha ha

So far so good! I have joined a gym and go every night after work. Right now I'm doing the treadmill mostly just to get my endurance up, but I go at 3mph for 45 min with varying inclines so I'm getting a good bang for my buck so to speak. I have also been doing the other machines, but not when there are a ton of ppl in the gym. Still really self conscious about that, however I'm up to 50 reps on both ab machines at 50lbs. I started at 10 if I was lucky at 10 lbs.

Still drinking tons of water and teas. I did have ONE soda last week (hanging head in shame..lol) AND 3 beers last weekend (hangs head in shame AGAIN). And I've reintroduced carbs, and I'm not KILLING myself monitoring them, but I don't eat as many as before.

So far the grand total is 16lbs down...YAY ME! But it's still a long road ahead, I have to say though I like how I have more energy after working out. Odd how I don't feel tired but amped up, so now after my nice lunch I'm going to turn on the tunes and start doing some cleaning around this joint!

Improving myself

About a month ago I stepped on a scale, and practically burst into tears. I knew I was overweight (obese actually) but I had no idea it was as bad as it was. Yankton has decided to sponsor a sort of biggest loser thing called YankTON Challenge. Since the bank is sponsoring us, I decided to sign up. But there are other reasons too, my father was morbidly obese and where kidney cancer is what he died from, his weight was a factor in not finding it sooner. I have struggled with my size for as long as I can remember, not in the sense where I have an eating disorder but to not become as large as he was.

Week one!
I have a bicycle thing I keep under my desk at work, so I've been peddling while working, it doesn't get me any cardio type of workout, but it helps my arthritic knees not hate me so much and it does burn calories. I joined a gym that has 24 hr access, so I go after I get off from work at 1am. Most of the time a friend of mine and I go together, but I'm at a point where I'm even going alone too. Something I would never do normally, however I like how I've been feeling after I'm done and my energy level has gone up too.

I am doing the South Beach diet...phase one. I'm not doing the entire diet that way but I like the phase one where you cut out carbs completely. It's not as hard as you think it might be, although I miss bread and pasta....and beer. I REALLY MISS BEER!!

Greg is doing the challenge too, and he's lost 9 lbs. I'm really proud of him too! I am motivated not only for my health, but just to feel better about how I look when I see myself in a mirror.

After week one....down ELEVEN lbs. I'm proud of myself, and it's a great start. I do know it's going to taper off too and won't and shouldn't be like that each week. It is a great morale booster though!

Overtime

Both Greg and I have been working quite a bit of overtime these days. It's exhausting, I work from 4:30pm - 1:00 am and I have been going into work from 9am - 11am all week this week too. I did work a couple of straight 10 hour shifts, which are easier than coming in early, but the hours for that haven't been offered for a while. So I'm sleeping less. Which makes for a cranky mom.

Right now my biggest worry is Vincent. He has developed the thinking that he may go anywhere he wishes at whatever time he wishes and does not need to ask permission to do so. This is unacceptable, and he KNOWS this. I have grounded and grounded him and he does OK for a little while then he's back at it. NO MORE!!!!!! I have told him that if he EVER tried to sneak out or goes MIA again I am going to report him as a runaway. I realize this may seem a bit extreme but I'm at a loss of what else to do. The kids he's hanging out with when he does this are much older than he is and he is playing with fire (figuratively as we have not had pyro problems since the "big kahuna" two years ago) It stinks on ice not to be able to trust your own kid to make the right decisions, when you've taught them how to make them.

There are days it's like watching a train wreck about to happen and I'm helpless to stop it. He has potential to do great things, and most days is the hardest working kid I've ever seen. But if he's not directed constantly, he's easily led astray and I fear for him. He's made SERIOUSLY bad choices, and paid the price for those. In losing trust with Greg and me, in having suspicion cast upon him if ANYTHING happens in our neighborhood. These things KILL me inside, and I cannot seem to get through to him. When I sit him down and talk to him, he is genuinely remorseful and tries to do the right thing, but inevitably falls back into the same old patterns.

I only want the best for him, but he needs to understand that I expect better OF him. I am hopeful though that one day the light bulb will glow brightly and he'll get it.

Neglectful

I suppose I've become rather neglectful of my blog. Quite honestly I don't think anyone ever reads it anyway. But I figure I should at least update from time to time.

I'm currently doing this from work, it's nice to be able to have Internet access from my job. It's slow enough tonight that I have time to do this. If it were Monday, forget it, Monday's are hell in the credit card business. I don't know if I will be welding for a living again, the economy is brutal and I have really good insurance right now. I also actually have a 401K that MADE MONEY!!!!! It's not a bad place to work, I just don't make as much money as I would welding, and I don't think I'll get anywhere else in the company except where I am right now. I'm not overly fond of the bottom of the food chain. I suppose I shouldn't complain at all as I know there are people out there in much worse situations, then again I don't think it's that bad to aspire for something better in a place I am at 8 hours every day.

I have come to the conclusion that I am getting old. SHOCKER I know! (please note dripping sarcasm) I have had a few times recently where I've been seeing how the world is an adventure for other people (the younger ones :) ) and finding myself a little jealous of having that freedom.

Then I really thought about it one day, yes that "everyday is an adventure" part of my life isn't as prevalent. I don't wonder where I should go this week, and my life revolves around my children and what they have going on and who needs to be shuttled where. That is sort of the other part of my "midlife" crisis, the children have gone off and gotten LIVES!

I'll say more another time - just don't know what all TO say :)

Sooooooo

it's my birthday. And oddly enough I think my Mom will be the one person to remember without an acutal reminder...or possibly checking my evil fb status. How sad is that. But I've made it another year, and I'm still tickled pink to be walking on the planet and watching my amazing family! All else is a bonus.

An update....

Not that my life is exciting, which I am just fine with because it seems that when my life becomes exciting these days it's due to something rotten happening. Dull is all gouda to me :)
So here's what's been going on:

Kids:
School is out for the summer...kids are thrilled...I however am now a proponent for year round school. This is for a couple of reasons, one because I get tired of hearing "I'm bored", and also I think they forget about 20% of what they learn during the school year and spend the first 9 weeks of school playing catch up.

Lilly is one seriously busy young lady - she turned 10 in April, and it never ceases to amaze me that she is less of a child and more of a young adult. She is still involved with orchestra and is even volunteering to play at the assisted living center my Grandmother lives at. She is beginning to take tae kwando which I think will help with her coordination not to mention being able to defend herself later won't hurt either. She is also doing flag corp and girl scouts as well. I swear her schedule makes ME tired.

Vincent isn't involved with much extra activities although he will be taking a couple of cooking classes this summer and he is very excited about that. He has also gotten his very first paddle fish tag for this fall, he is super excited about that. I do think we are going to have to tie him down so that the fish doesn't haul him into the river! He's been subject to some serious bullying this year and it breaks my heart and requires much self restraint not to go kick someones ass. But that would not teach him the correct path, and that is my job. But I hate seeing him suffer. So I have been occupying him by allowing him to spend a few days with friends on their farm and having sleepovers at other friends homes so he is out of the neighborhood and enjoying himself.

Isabella broke her arm earlier this year, she fell off her bike. She was lucky enough to not need an actual cast and could get by with a brace. Oddly enough I had to keep shooing her OFF the monkey bars, I caught her several times hanging by one arm. One time she was on the rings and said, I'm not hanging on the MONKEY BARS, I'm hanging on the RINGS. This is when I needed to explain to her I would prefer she not be HANGING off ANYTHING until her arm had healed. She is bull headed sometimes...where could she POSSIBLY have gotten that trait from? She is also took a cooking class this year and loved it, they did not actually do the cooking, but the prep work and she had a great time.

Of course there are swimming lessons in July as I am adamant about those. This year they all get to be at the same location and the SAME TIME. I only have to go to the pool once a day...whoop!


Garden:

We have the garden in, Greg planted most of it, so we have 8 million rows of potatoes and 6 tomato plants....this is where I roll my eyes. It is coming along nicely and the torrential rain and hail have not damaged it that much. This year we only planted a couple of celery plants in my herb garden. I love how they smell and I like to dry them and then grind it for seasoning. But I do not care for the taste, it seems to be extremely bitter out of the garden.

We also planted indian corn and popcorn. As I said Greg did most of the planting while I was at work, so I wasn't there to stop him...ugh.


Life:
Greg and I celebrated out 10th anniversary this year. Also amazing, I had never had a relationship last over 2 years before we were married. Mostly due to self sabotage. We have had ups and downs but I have to say he and I are a constant that I'm happy to have. I find it funny that people think 10 years is monumental. But in this instant society where things aren't built to last, people are willing to give up on things that take work. I have never been the type of person to do that, sometimes the challenge is what makes life interesting.

Work:
I am now a customer service rep for a bank. I do not have to call people, so it's not bad work. But I get yelled at a lot about interest rates...oh well..READ THE INFO WE SEND YOU!!!
I like my supervisor, and the other people I work with. The work isn't hard, and apparently I'm good at it. But I do miss welding.

That being said, Kolberg's called me and offered me my old job back, which I declined. Mostly because I do not think it is a good idea for Greg and I to work at the same place. Not because there is a conflict with us, but because I do not want to put all our eggs in one basket. I have moved him and the kids to my insurance, which is better. And with my sales I make what I was making at Kolberg's only in air conditioning and I don't light myself on fire. These are good things, also a friend of mine said anytime I want to play with a welder I can use his welding truck. Best of both worlds I suppose.

I have been working quite a bit of overtime lately and quite frankly I'm bushed. I'm not going to sign up for Friday and Sat because I'm missing spending some good summertime with the kids and I am planning to take them to the lake for a day of swimming, fishing, picnicking and other romping around. Should be a good time! The money helps but I don't want to miss out on my kids youth either. I work nights so Greg is home with them in the evening, but I have to get a little sleep in the mornings so they don't get to go outside until after 10am when I am awake. I would prefer to sleep more, but I don't think it's fair to keep them trapped indoors.

I have other things to say, and I'll do that another time....may life be grand to you and yours!

Mostly Pictures

Lilly's orchestra concert from today...she loves music so much, she even wants to learn to play hand tools!

amazing

I'm officially 40. Never thought I'd get this far, or have all the great things in my life either. But here I am...yay!

Hmmmmmm

It's odd that I'm online only now and again lately. This is mostly due to the new job at the Bankcard center. It's not my DREAM job, but it will help pay the bills, and I have to say this company treats their employees well and the people are great. Sometimes that's all a job needs to have to be worthwhile. The job itself it interesting as well. And that's all I have to say about that. :)

I have finally come out of my "funk"! I think it was mostly due to not working and feeling pretty damned worthless because of it. My house went to hell in a hand basket, but I've been "digging out" and it's much better. I'm not ashamed for other people to walk in anymore. And I'm not as snippy to everyone either, nor am I as tired as I was for the LONGEST time. Depression is a strange creature, it not only effects the brain but nails you physically as well. And where things are not perfect nor do I think they ever will be...besides perfection is overrated :) !

The kids are doing great, we have Lil's first orchestra concert in December, and I'm so excited to see her play in a group. She works hard at it and songs are becoming more recognizable! Her grades are good and I really can't express how amazing she is.

Vincent is doing well with his speech therapy...and I can see some marked improvement with his lisp. He's slacking a bit with homework, but his reading is so much better and he's whizzing along in math too! His teacher raved about him at conferences and I was just beaming! He's had so many troubles this year. Sometimes it's just hard to be a farm kid trapped in town, when he's hanging out with other kids who live in smaller rural towns or farms...he's fine. Here in town, he gets picked on sometimes and then when he defends himself HE'S the bad guy. Tired of it and I REFUSE to punish a kid for defending himself, and if other kids parents don't like it...they can kiss my ASS.

Bella is THRIVING in kindergarten, she's READING already. She loves being student reader at school, I must say she just LOVES school. I still think she's going to take over Cuba one day, but that's just me :) I cannot believe her birthday is in roughly 3 weeks and she'll be SIX. It never ceases to amaze me how time flies.

Anyway...just figured I should update :) I'll have to get some kid pics on soon too. They are HUGE!!!!!!!!!!

Tis the season

to snag paddlefish! So I will be fishing next week, I hope I get a really big one this year! They may be ugly, but they are poor man's lobster! They are also REALLY fun to catch. You don't bait a hook, you snag them and they fight like hell! I almost was drug into the river one year. So wish me luck!

Struggling.

That is the one word I can use to describe me right now, struggling. I have been having to test my blood sugars (which seem to be stabilizing) over the past month. I'm struggling with my weight, my father was morbidly obese and I've found myself on a slippery slope. I'm changing things in my life to help me lose some weight and keep my blood sugars at healthy levels. But I have been finding myself exhausted all the time, honestly I think it's some depression setting in. Oddly enough though, I don't know why. I have a really good life, my family is happy and healthy. Sure some things could be better, I think most people have things in their lives they wouldn't mind being better. I just want to feel GOOD again. Oddly enough I am at a loss on how to do this simple thing. I find joy on a daily basis, but I just don't feel good. I don't know, maybe I'm just nuts.

On a happier note, I am the proud parent of a cellist! Lilly has started orchestra and I couldn't be more excited. She should have her cello this Friday, and she's pretty excited to play me the song she's learned. I hope she decides to stick with it - music is such a wonderful outlet. She's enjoying school as usual and loves her teacher, she's been blessed again with a teacher who "gets" her. I cannot tell you how important that is for her.

Vincent is doing well, he's kept himself out of trouble (mostly :) ) and has found himself involved in a love affair. Before you freak out - it's with a lawn tractor. He LOVES driving and that boy can back up a trailer better than I can! I asked him his secret and he refused to tell me! He said "It's a guy thing Ma!"

Isabella is loving school, and just joined girl scouts. She's excited but we haven't heard anything yet about her troop. She had her first school portraits and I can't wait to see the pictures! She was singing me one of her songs and I love listening to her. So every night when I making supper she sings me the apple and banana song. Which I love. I'm also going along on her field trip to the pumpkin patch in about a week. She's been there before but she's pretty stoked none the less.

All in all - life is good! I'm a mess, but life is good.

Our new addition.

Meet zucchini. Yes another cat named after a vegitable. What can I say we're odd ducks like that. He's awful cute though :) He needs to put on some weight and we're treating a gnarly case of ear mites...but other than that he's a healthy little goober.