Saturday, January 24, 2009


I wish I had some deep philosophical thing to say, I don't. I'm depressed about the lay off. I know there are others out there who have it much worse off than I do. I have loads of things to be grateful for and I am.
I know I am Much more than what I did for a living. My greatest purpose is being a Mom. It's amazing to watch them grow and become the people they are becoming. It was also nice to bloom a little myself, and develop a titch of independence as well. Teaching my daughters (and son too) that a woman can work in an industry that is male dominated. That a woman can excel at that job to, and no matter what they want to be when they become adults, as long as they enjoy what they do, it's not work.
I THRIVE on hard work, on taking a bunch of metal and making something tangible out of it. Remembering how when I first started welding I was scared to death to have to work on anything signficant, mostly doing rinky dink pieces. Then amazingly how that wasn't enough for me anymore, how I wanted to BUILD something, I didn't want to just make something a couple of feet long..or legs for conveyors anymore, but that I WANTED to make the main components. I enjoyed how the guys just treated me like one of the guys. They didn't let me do anything to bag off something that might be a little hard. How much they laughed at me when I welded myself into a 7 foot high rock box. How I threatened to kill them if they didn't get me a damned ladder!
I miss having somewhere to BE. I miss having a check with my name on it. It's hard to even think to go from what I was making to something just above minimum wage.
So I guess I'm depressed.
I still look on the bright side too. I'm starting a stick welding class and hopefully a pipe welding class after that. I'm high up on the call back list for work. Whenever that is. Everyone is healthy and doing well, except for me in a way I suppose.
I'm fortunate enough that Greg didn't get laid off and we still have insurance and income. Some of the guys I worked with don't have that and have to take whatever they can get for work. I know that, but right now I'm just bummed.
I'm just trying not to feel guilty about it.

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