Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Both Greg and I have been working quite a bit of overtime these days. It's exhausting, I work from 4:30pm - 1:00 am and I have been going into work from 9am - 11am all week this week too. I did work a couple of straight 10 hour shifts, which are easier than coming in early, but the hours for that haven't been offered for a while. So I'm sleeping less. Which makes for a cranky mom.

Right now my biggest worry is Vincent. He has developed the thinking that he may go anywhere he wishes at whatever time he wishes and does not need to ask permission to do so. This is unacceptable, and he KNOWS this. I have grounded and grounded him and he does OK for a little while then he's back at it. NO MORE!!!!!! I have told him that if he EVER tried to sneak out or goes MIA again I am going to report him as a runaway. I realize this may seem a bit extreme but I'm at a loss of what else to do. The kids he's hanging out with when he does this are much older than he is and he is playing with fire (figuratively as we have not had pyro problems since the "big kahuna" two years ago) It stinks on ice not to be able to trust your own kid to make the right decisions, when you've taught them how to make them.

There are days it's like watching a train wreck about to happen and I'm helpless to stop it. He has potential to do great things, and most days is the hardest working kid I've ever seen. But if he's not directed constantly, he's easily led astray and I fear for him. He's made SERIOUSLY bad choices, and paid the price for those. In losing trust with Greg and me, in having suspicion cast upon him if ANYTHING happens in our neighborhood. These things KILL me inside, and I cannot seem to get through to him. When I sit him down and talk to him, he is genuinely remorseful and tries to do the right thing, but inevitably falls back into the same old patterns.

I only want the best for him, but he needs to understand that I expect better OF him. I am hopeful though that one day the light bulb will glow brightly and he'll get it.

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